Around 10am, I waltzed out of the shower singing a happy tune. I thought I'd make it an extra special day, so I slathered on a facial mask. Thank you Dead Sea Minerals! As I robe my underwear-clad body, I realize that the clothes I want to wear are in the laundry room. So I've got wet hair, white facial mask, white robe, WHITE underwear-wearing going on, and I notice the dogs outside have knocked over the dirty diaper garbage can and going to town, face-first into a full filled diaper! NOT COOL WITH ME! Frickedy ew!
I opened the door for some loud verbal scolding, and they both run away knowing they are in trouble. I SNAP! "No one runs away from meeee" So (think of what I'm already wearing) I grab the closest pair of shoes, my husbands BIG CLUNKY running shoes. I slip them on with ease, and proceed to give the dogs their much needed scolding. As I approach them, they knew they were in trouble. Neither of them would come to me. HAHA, who would?! So I approached...Ozzie ran away, and Toby just stood there and shook. I went to grab his collar, and he lunged up at my hand and grabbed it with his sharp, not quite puppy-any-more teeth. His teeth punctured pretty deep into the fleshy part of my palm. Right down to a vein.
Pictures please....turn away if you are like me, and faint.
I know it doesn't look THAT bad...but it bled like no tomorrow....6 hrs for it to stop bleeding.
I had learned a survival technique from someone, that if you are "experiencing" a dog bite and can't get the dog to stop chomping, you shove your hand deep down his throat. So I did. He gagged. My hand came free. With my freshly bitten hand, and my adrenalin pumping body, I pick him up (by his collar, he's small don't worry) and took him to his cage.
Time to breathe and assess.
Oh SHOOT! I'm now dripping from my hand. I instantly go into panic mode. I went upstairs, washed the wound, and *almost* passed out. Deeeeep! ew. So I called Jos and left a VM, and with my panicked voice, he can't understand a word I say. So, no call back. So now I call my brother and his girlfriend...I'm feeling rather weak, and ready to passsss....out. I found the number, dialed, and from then on, no one could understand my crying/panic voice. They found me on the ground in the kitchen. Not the first of my faintings. Apparently, I fainted 4 times.
After Miranda and Lance dressed me...yes, I was still underwear-clad, and yes, its awkward for your little brother to put your shirt on, and wiggle your jeans on over your butt! We went to the the hospital to get it checked out.
After a 5 hour wait, we were seen. The doctors were more concerned with the fact that Toby was face first in a dirty diaper before he bit me. Yuck...poo hand. So they chose not to freeze me, and performed a "High Pressure Irrigation" to each puncture wound. Imagine a syringe filled with water, and then forcefully squirted into each hole in your hand. Nice. My hand filled with water. So.Gross. 1 Tetanus shot later, and 5 days of antibiotics, I was on my way. No Stitches needed...and since I'm highly allergic to band-aids, I'm a bandage wearin' chic.
We have not decided yet on what to do with Toby. He's not a bad dog. He's just not a dog that pees when he's scared, he bites. I either need to get some massive help with training...(apparently watching Cesar Milan isn't enough) and find out HOW to discipline without getting a bite. He has not bit the kids...only the adults at least twice!
So...I went to a GNO with the ladies from my church. Super fun! Then I went and saw "Date Night" with a good friend.
The next day was also Girl Night Out with some ladies from work. EPIC night! Mani's/Pedi's, appys, karaoke!!! Out till 5am! I'm too old for that, but it was a top night fo sho! Here are some pics.
I'm the red toes.
We made a pit stop to my bosses house in Bearspaw, isn't his view gorgeous?
Karaoke!!!
Gangsta!
Photobomb!
Jenna CAN SING! We decided to take our act on the road.
Good times.
My hand is healing, and the bandages are off today.
WOOT
